late post, blogger been down

i wrote this post about a week ago, but not been able to post it so far...

guys, time for a catch up i think! currently there are 2 major projects underway... trying to conceive Baby No.3 and Moving house. i managed to get pregnant last month, however miscarried a few days after finding out. the reason it seems was due to the rotary airer snapping and falling on top of me, causing the baby to die on the monday, however i didnt actually miscarry the baby till the thursday. we are currently taking the manufactorers to court over the matter, and will update in due course. so needless to say things have been a bit shaky here, however we have decided to carry on ttc (trying to conceive) which has helped me look forward instead of wallowing! The house move is underway, we are looking atm, our tennacy is up at the end of next month, but there are plenty of properties we could take we are just taking our time finding the perfect place. i am really looking forward to it, because it means tom will have a room of his own, and due to his disruptive behaviour we have been advised that to give him a space of his own will help. that way he can set things out and line things up to his hearts content without ellen knocking things down and causing uproar! Thomas is getting better, mostly due to the help i have had from the health visitor, helping me understand why things upset him, what his triggers are, and showing me where to draw the line and to pick my battles! it is a delicate balancing act, but i am getting there. His speech is picking up thanks to the sign language we have been teaching him, he feels less under pressure to get things right because he can sign along side speaking, and it gives him the confidence to use new words without feeling we wont understand him. Ellen is as good as ever, she is really such a gentle soul and always got a smile for anyone who so much as looks at her! her speech is brilliant to, she even says love you before bed sometimes! she is also growing ever so fast, needing new clothes every few weeks. i buy them a size bigger so they need rolling up yet they are soon above her ankles.

Ellen's First Words and First Steps

Here is ellen walking in her bedroom, its sideways cos i cant work out how to flip it, will get michael to fix it when he gets in lol

 i also got one of her saying hello if u listen carefully she says it twice, once more clearer than the other, she is holding the phone to her ear, so u can only see me!

 thats the one underneath:

Other updates

Since toms birthday there have been a few things to tell you, but i thought i would put them in a separate post.

we had 

a big snow day last month, thomas and ellen loved the snow, ellen tried to eat it of course! we built a snow man in crystal palace park, and ran about for about an hour before the kids sta

rted to get to cold. we met up with adam and tuesday too, so tom and paige were chasing each other around the park for a

 while which helped warm them up.

Ellen is 

now walking, she frequently walks across the room, and is very pleased with herself! i am going to get a video of it and pop it up here for you tomorrow, perhaps tuesday however long it takes me to get her on film really lol

she is also talking and has a 6 words "hello", "up", "num"(food), "dada", "yeah" and "No" which has amazed me i can tell you! thomas spoke rather late, so to have ellen talking so early has come as quite a surpise, and i must say i am a little sad, she isnt really a baby anymore :(

however she seems happier now she can get about easier, she was quite

 frustrated for a while, so im happy for her really.

im going back to college in september, this time to study art and design, with the eventual aim of becoming an art teacher in secondary schools.

that is, of course, if i can get a place on the course. if not i may well have to wait till next ye

ar, but either way i know what i want to do with my life now, which is an improvement on last year!

we have decided to move into the bromley borough too, as we are sick of living in croydon now, and i dont want thomas going to most of the schools lo

cally (except the RC one) 

so we have been looking around, and have viewed a few flats, but until i get my income support sorted we wont be able to move.. so just waiting on that really.

michael went part time in January, and that means he is about to help out more now, which is great as i went through quite a bad patch and have been on anti depressants since, which thankfully having them and michael around a bit more has helped me. A lot of the depression was caused by what people were saying or had said about me to other people, i felt like

 everyone thought i was a bad mum, and felt unable to leave my house because i thought everyone was judging me. i reali

se now that people will bitch, unfortunately thats what women are like, (particularly the women round here it seems) as i have decided to remove myself from the people making me feel this way. 

Of course i have my chez, who is my rock and overall has supported me through this whole thing, and i think i may still be lost if i hadnt had her. so cheryl if you are reading this i just want to say thank yo

u, and i love you xx

on a brighter note, i have resolved to become more eco friendly, and have insta

lled energy saving light bulbs, a recyling box, switched to ecover, and put tom and ellen in reusable nappies. 

Now alot of people were quick to tell me i was crazy for switching the 

nappies, however it really isnt that much work, and it not only saves the environment but money too. we

 were spending £40 a month on nappies, now we only buy them very rarely, infact i havent had to buy one at all since switching cos we still have the ones left from before!

Thats a Picture of Ellen in the first nappy i put on her, bless her! 

Toms Birthday

apologies for my lack of posting recently, but been so busy with the kids its been stupid!

right so januray was last post so let me see, my sister turned 18, which was scary for me lol! 

In febrary me and michael celebrated our first wedding anniversary, and of course we had lauras birthday. march nothing exciting happened, and april we had toms birthday.

He was of course 2, and we took him on the london eye for his actual birthday which he enjoyed, and so did ellen! they were both pointing out things, tom shouting "bus" repeatedly at the top of his voice and ellen just bouncing up and down on the spot!

we had a small party at our house on the sunday which most of our friends and family came to, had a cake and opened pressies, and genrally just enjoyed having a house ful of people we loved. thomas had a lovely weekend, and i felt we had done just enough this year, as last year i felt that we didnt really make enough fuss (he was after all only one) and i made sure we got loads of pictures of both the things we did for him.

his main presant was a wooden train set, which alot of people got him extra bits for, and he got a few little bits on top of that. we didnt get much in the way of toys for him as i felt he has quite enough as it is, and he got alot more enjoyment out of a day out somewhere special than he would have done out of loads of bits of plastic.

anyway thanks to everybody who came to the party, the presents were lovely, and we hope you had a good time. (even if there was like 30 people squished into my tiny house!)

Catch up from the last few months

we have done a few things together as a family since i was last able to post. one of the things we did was to visit legoland Windsor towards the end of the September, just before it started turning cold. we went with Michael mother and his little brother Jacques, it was a pleasant day out Thomas walked most of the time and spent the rest of it on Micheal's shoulders as you can see from the picture.

Ellen slept for almost all of the trip, only waking up to ask for food and the occasional nappy change. we went on a number of rides and it was even warm enough for Thomas to play in the fountains, though he was shivering towards the end of it! we bought Thomas a soft Lego man, and Michael got a really nice keyring that had both Ellen and Thomas' names carved into it. Jacques got to go on the car racing ride he wanted to go on, and i went down the water flumes with him.

We stayed until the park closed, and we did the famous buildings made out of Lego at the end when the kids had crashed out in the buggy. They were most impressive, and the funny thing was they had characters from batman on the roofs, it was so funny they looked like the fathers for justice crowd!

We also had fireworks night. That was nice, we went to my mums and set off a small box of fireworks and had some sparklers. here's a picture of tom and his daddy drawing their names with the sparklers. doesn't he look happy?

of course we had Christmas after that, the pictures i will add when i get time to get them off my phone. i will fill you in all the details tomorrow hopefully, but right now I'm shattered and need to head off to bed.

night all xx

Hello... anyone still there?

Well getting the internet back has been a total farse! i cannot believe my last post was september and TODAY was our reconnection date. thats crazyness!

we moved out litrally overnight and i didnt have time to post anything on here, but we have moved to a nice ground floor flat in woodside. its right next to the school i want Thomas to attend, and not to far from our church. it was magnolia throughout when we moved in, laminate floors throughout except the bedrooms. the kitchen and bathroom are quite new and spacious, and all applicances are working! the only problem is no storage, but thats fixable!
Ellen is now 7 months, nearly crawling and eating three meals a day. Thomas is now 21 months and talking in sentances. his favourite word at the moment is NO, tom would say no to sweets given half the chance.

Michael is at full time university and full time work, meaing we dont hardly see him at the moment, but he is applying for part time jobs so fingers crossed.

and moi.. well im now a size 10, i've had my hair cut and actually have time to put make up on in the mornings. so i look alot better now and feel more like myself.

unfortuatly we have gone through quite a tramatic time recently. Ellen had just turned 5 months when we found out that i was pregnant again. it came as a complete shock as we had been very careful not to take any chances, and we had managed the previous 4 months without any problems.

after a long conversation we decided that it would be best if we didnt continue with the pregnancy. there was just no way we could stretch michaels wages, and it would have meant moving again, not to mention the strain of three children all under school age. 'so anyway that is all over now and although it did put alot of pressure on us at the time, christmas was great at bringing us closer together again and if anything its made us stronger.

now onto a brighter note! we have redectorated the flat, and we will be putting in some storage monday as there is just no where to put anything at the moment lol! The kids room is beautiful, i painted it white and bought a brightly coloured border and stickers for the walls. we have put matching curtains and bedding in the room, its a zoo theme bright yellows oranges and greens. the living room is plum and caramel, two walls of each, and we have an extra sofa now. we will have a fridge freezer on tuesday, and im hoping to buy a dishwasher in the summer.

i turned 22 on the 27th of December my friend Tuesday had her baby on the 28th, thats her on the right. She is beautiful, her name is Brooke and she was nearly 9lb! poor Tuesday lol!

right kids awake from their naps so im off, will update pictures and post again tomorrow.

nats xx