late post, blogger been down

i wrote this post about a week ago, but not been able to post it so far...

guys, time for a catch up i think! currently there are 2 major projects underway... trying to conceive Baby No.3 and Moving house. i managed to get pregnant last month, however miscarried a few days after finding out. the reason it seems was due to the rotary airer snapping and falling on top of me, causing the baby to die on the monday, however i didnt actually miscarry the baby till the thursday. we are currently taking the manufactorers to court over the matter, and will update in due course. so needless to say things have been a bit shaky here, however we have decided to carry on ttc (trying to conceive) which has helped me look forward instead of wallowing! The house move is underway, we are looking atm, our tennacy is up at the end of next month, but there are plenty of properties we could take we are just taking our time finding the perfect place. i am really looking forward to it, because it means tom will have a room of his own, and due to his disruptive behaviour we have been advised that to give him a space of his own will help. that way he can set things out and line things up to his hearts content without ellen knocking things down and causing uproar! Thomas is getting better, mostly due to the help i have had from the health visitor, helping me understand why things upset him, what his triggers are, and showing me where to draw the line and to pick my battles! it is a delicate balancing act, but i am getting there. His speech is picking up thanks to the sign language we have been teaching him, he feels less under pressure to get things right because he can sign along side speaking, and it gives him the confidence to use new words without feeling we wont understand him. Ellen is as good as ever, she is really such a gentle soul and always got a smile for anyone who so much as looks at her! her speech is brilliant to, she even says love you before bed sometimes! she is also growing ever so fast, needing new clothes every few weeks. i buy them a size bigger so they need rolling up yet they are soon above her ankles.

Ellen's First Words and First Steps

Here is ellen walking in her bedroom, its sideways cos i cant work out how to flip it, will get michael to fix it when he gets in lol

 i also got one of her saying hello if u listen carefully she says it twice, once more clearer than the other, she is holding the phone to her ear, so u can only see me!

 thats the one underneath:

Other updates

Since toms birthday there have been a few things to tell you, but i thought i would put them in a separate post.

we had 

a big snow day last month, thomas and ellen loved the snow, ellen tried to eat it of course! we built a snow man in crystal palace park, and ran about for about an hour before the kids sta

rted to get to cold. we met up with adam and tuesday too, so tom and paige were chasing each other around the park for a

 while which helped warm them up.

Ellen is 

now walking, she frequently walks across the room, and is very pleased with herself! i am going to get a video of it and pop it up here for you tomorrow, perhaps tuesday however long it takes me to get her on film really lol

she is also talking and has a 6 words "hello", "up", "num"(food), "dada", "yeah" and "No" which has amazed me i can tell you! thomas spoke rather late, so to have ellen talking so early has come as quite a surpise, and i must say i am a little sad, she isnt really a baby anymore :(

however she seems happier now she can get about easier, she was quite

 frustrated for a while, so im happy for her really.

im going back to college in september, this time to study art and design, with the eventual aim of becoming an art teacher in secondary schools.

that is, of course, if i can get a place on the course. if not i may well have to wait till next ye

ar, but either way i know what i want to do with my life now, which is an improvement on last year!

we have decided to move into the bromley borough too, as we are sick of living in croydon now, and i dont want thomas going to most of the schools lo

cally (except the RC one) 

so we have been looking around, and have viewed a few flats, but until i get my income support sorted we wont be able to move.. so just waiting on that really.

michael went part time in January, and that means he is about to help out more now, which is great as i went through quite a bad patch and have been on anti depressants since, which thankfully having them and michael around a bit more has helped me. A lot of the depression was caused by what people were saying or had said about me to other people, i felt like

 everyone thought i was a bad mum, and felt unable to leave my house because i thought everyone was judging me. i reali

se now that people will bitch, unfortunately thats what women are like, (particularly the women round here it seems) as i have decided to remove myself from the people making me feel this way. 

Of course i have my chez, who is my rock and overall has supported me through this whole thing, and i think i may still be lost if i hadnt had her. so cheryl if you are reading this i just want to say thank yo

u, and i love you xx

on a brighter note, i have resolved to become more eco friendly, and have insta

lled energy saving light bulbs, a recyling box, switched to ecover, and put tom and ellen in reusable nappies. 

Now alot of people were quick to tell me i was crazy for switching the 

nappies, however it really isnt that much work, and it not only saves the environment but money too. we

 were spending £40 a month on nappies, now we only buy them very rarely, infact i havent had to buy one at all since switching cos we still have the ones left from before!

Thats a Picture of Ellen in the first nappy i put on her, bless her! 

Toms Birthday

apologies for my lack of posting recently, but been so busy with the kids its been stupid!

right so januray was last post so let me see, my sister turned 18, which was scary for me lol! 

In febrary me and michael celebrated our first wedding anniversary, and of course we had lauras birthday. march nothing exciting happened, and april we had toms birthday.

He was of course 2, and we took him on the london eye for his actual birthday which he enjoyed, and so did ellen! they were both pointing out things, tom shouting "bus" repeatedly at the top of his voice and ellen just bouncing up and down on the spot!

we had a small party at our house on the sunday which most of our friends and family came to, had a cake and opened pressies, and genrally just enjoyed having a house ful of people we loved. thomas had a lovely weekend, and i felt we had done just enough this year, as last year i felt that we didnt really make enough fuss (he was after all only one) and i made sure we got loads of pictures of both the things we did for him.

his main presant was a wooden train set, which alot of people got him extra bits for, and he got a few little bits on top of that. we didnt get much in the way of toys for him as i felt he has quite enough as it is, and he got alot more enjoyment out of a day out somewhere special than he would have done out of loads of bits of plastic.

anyway thanks to everybody who came to the party, the presents were lovely, and we hope you had a good time. (even if there was like 30 people squished into my tiny house!)

Catch up from the last few months

we have done a few things together as a family since i was last able to post. one of the things we did was to visit legoland Windsor towards the end of the September, just before it started turning cold. we went with Michael mother and his little brother Jacques, it was a pleasant day out Thomas walked most of the time and spent the rest of it on Micheal's shoulders as you can see from the picture.

Ellen slept for almost all of the trip, only waking up to ask for food and the occasional nappy change. we went on a number of rides and it was even warm enough for Thomas to play in the fountains, though he was shivering towards the end of it! we bought Thomas a soft Lego man, and Michael got a really nice keyring that had both Ellen and Thomas' names carved into it. Jacques got to go on the car racing ride he wanted to go on, and i went down the water flumes with him.

We stayed until the park closed, and we did the famous buildings made out of Lego at the end when the kids had crashed out in the buggy. They were most impressive, and the funny thing was they had characters from batman on the roofs, it was so funny they looked like the fathers for justice crowd!

We also had fireworks night. That was nice, we went to my mums and set off a small box of fireworks and had some sparklers. here's a picture of tom and his daddy drawing their names with the sparklers. doesn't he look happy?

of course we had Christmas after that, the pictures i will add when i get time to get them off my phone. i will fill you in all the details tomorrow hopefully, but right now I'm shattered and need to head off to bed.

night all xx

Hello... anyone still there?

Well getting the internet back has been a total farse! i cannot believe my last post was september and TODAY was our reconnection date. thats crazyness!

we moved out litrally overnight and i didnt have time to post anything on here, but we have moved to a nice ground floor flat in woodside. its right next to the school i want Thomas to attend, and not to far from our church. it was magnolia throughout when we moved in, laminate floors throughout except the bedrooms. the kitchen and bathroom are quite new and spacious, and all applicances are working! the only problem is no storage, but thats fixable!
Ellen is now 7 months, nearly crawling and eating three meals a day. Thomas is now 21 months and talking in sentances. his favourite word at the moment is NO, tom would say no to sweets given half the chance.

Michael is at full time university and full time work, meaing we dont hardly see him at the moment, but he is applying for part time jobs so fingers crossed.

and moi.. well im now a size 10, i've had my hair cut and actually have time to put make up on in the mornings. so i look alot better now and feel more like myself.

unfortuatly we have gone through quite a tramatic time recently. Ellen had just turned 5 months when we found out that i was pregnant again. it came as a complete shock as we had been very careful not to take any chances, and we had managed the previous 4 months without any problems.

after a long conversation we decided that it would be best if we didnt continue with the pregnancy. there was just no way we could stretch michaels wages, and it would have meant moving again, not to mention the strain of three children all under school age. 'so anyway that is all over now and although it did put alot of pressure on us at the time, christmas was great at bringing us closer together again and if anything its made us stronger.

now onto a brighter note! we have redectorated the flat, and we will be putting in some storage monday as there is just no where to put anything at the moment lol! The kids room is beautiful, i painted it white and bought a brightly coloured border and stickers for the walls. we have put matching curtains and bedding in the room, its a zoo theme bright yellows oranges and greens. the living room is plum and caramel, two walls of each, and we have an extra sofa now. we will have a fridge freezer on tuesday, and im hoping to buy a dishwasher in the summer.

i turned 22 on the 27th of December my friend Tuesday had her baby on the 28th, thats her on the right. She is beautiful, her name is Brooke and she was nearly 9lb! poor Tuesday lol!

right kids awake from their naps so im off, will update pictures and post again tomorrow.

nats xx

Return of the Mummy

OK its been a while.. I'm sorry i truly am!
we are currently in the process of having to move AGAIN as there are numerous problems with our house. basically the oven, stairs, and fridge is broken and he landlord wont fix it so we are just moving house to get away from him.
Anyho don't get me started on that issue.
Thomas has been an angel this week, and most of last week for that matter. and i didn't do anything differently either, he seems to have just passed his difficult stage. well yay for that!
Ellen is massive and does full belly laughs now, she is also getting bored and wanting to play more. just another sign that she is growing up, and how much she is her own person already. Its funny but i kind of thought she would be more like Thomas in likes and dislikes, but she is totally different, and quite insistent about it too!
we were supposed to be going on holiday next month, however as we are now putting every penny into rehousing us, so i have had to put that on hold till next year. i suppose the kids will have more fun as they will be much older and able to do more of the activities.
we are also taking the kids swimming every week as Thomas has recently developed a fear of deep water, so the idea is to De-sensitise him a bit to it. its nice cos we spend the hour as a family in the pool and i really enjoy the time spent together.
right I'm off, more detailed postings next time
brownie promise!!

natty xx

Tantrums..

oh tom is testing me this week he really is.
hes feeling left out alot at the moment as ellen is going through a particalry clingy phase... and it seems to be resulting in tantums, kicking, biting, and pinching.
my god is it making me depressed. i have found myself in tears alot this week, and am fearing PND may be rearings its ugly head again. (did i mention i suffered PND with tom?) i am finding it much harder to cope with than it was pre-ellen, as i cant give him enough one-to-one time. Michael suggested taking Tom out for an hour once a week when he is off work an see if that helps so i will be trialing that next week once Michael has a day off.
going for a picnic tomorrow, and have chosen 2 others mums that feed their children healthy foods. this is because a lot of the tantrums has been over things like crisps, donuts, and chocolate bars, which although i don't mind him having from time to time, i do not what him eating everyday. the problems starts when a few of our group allow their children to eat basically crap all day long.. often letting them have up to 4 packets of crisps a day. this over and above what is a healthy amount and i don't want tom to have a bad diet as he is small for his age as it is.
The only problem is now that i have to avoid eating with these people and as i do like the mums and their children but i don't agree with what they feed their children, i am finding it hard to come up with excuses but not wanting to hurt their feelings.
aah being a mum is so complicated sometimes!

Ellen has been an angel again this week, shes asserting herself a bit more now shouting to get our attention and stuff!

well more next time!

nats x

Beddington Park

we took the kids to beddington park today, along with their little friends brandon and hugo.

They loved it! they fed the ducks, went in the park and even swam in the shallow stream!

next time we are going to bring a picnic, swimming trunks towels and toys as you really can spend a whole day there, there was so much to do.

Hugos mum sherel is someone i dont usually see, and i wasnt sure how i felt about her till id spent today with her. i actually really enjoyed her company! its nice that the boys are all within weeks of each other in age.

well thats it for now!

King Kong Daddy

I took Thomas to Chessington the other day for the first time.

first we went on some rides, the sight seeing one, a few car ones and a merry-go-round. He was afraid of the bubble works though!

Although there were only a few baby rides that he could go on, he loved the zoo, and as we had a voucher we only paid 15 quid to get in so it was cheaper than London zoo.

the first cage we saw had a huge owl in it, which was sitting right by the bars. It was sitting quite still and Thomas didn't show much interest in it until it moved its head round to look at us.

squealing Thomas jumped backwards away from the cage and proceeded to burst into tears. i quickly led him to the next cage to show him the monkeys and the crying stopped immediately.

"daa daa" he said pointing to the largest monkey in front of him. i couldn't believe it i was in stitches! we stood in front of that cage for ages, Thomas making all the people passing by laugh at his insistence that the monkey was daddy.

Next we went to see the sea lions being fed. Thomas thought this was very funny and we spent another half hour watching that.

He also loved the lions and tigers, he kept calling them cats and pointing. He was also saying "rrroooaaarrr" whenever he saw the lions, because his toy lion at home roars!

All in all it was a good day out and i would recommend to anyone!

Beddy-Byes in his Big Boy Bed

tom slept in his toddler bed last night, no problems at all i was so surprised!
we took the side of his cot the other week and he freaked out, so i am so amazed that he was actually pleased with the new bed last night.
waking up to find him next to the bed laughing at me was lovely this morning, no more crying baby wake up calls!
i snuck in and took a picture... doesnt he look cute!
another milestone been and gone now, making me sad and happy at the same time, my little baby is gone.
i suppose the next one is potty training, but we got another year at least before i worry about that one.

ive got to go out and buy another stair gate today due to the terrible damp in this place the wall mounted one has come out and left a massive hole. so i have to find a pressure one that will fit our narrow staircase. mothercare has one that should just fit, so ive got to go get the kids ready!!

speak soon

natty x

Thru the night, a smile and an iggle piggle

Hello all!!
well now things have changed considerably recently, Ellen is now sleeping 6 out of 7 nights from 9 till about 6 or 7, which means not only am i getting a luxurious amount of sleep, but Michael and i finally have our evenings back. which apart from anything else means we can have an ADULT conversation which doesn't contain the words iggle piggle or upsy daisy (more on that later)
Thomas' new big boy bed is arriving tomorrow, which means for a few months we will have a crib, cot AND toddler bed in the one tiny room! but no matter, Thomas seems to be afraid of beds at the moment so the idea is to De-sensitise him to it by just having it up in the room for him to tuck his toys into.. we will soon see if that works!
Ellen is smiling all the time now, however not often at me (unless I'm singing), she seems to prefer strangers than her own mother. wonderful! ah well I'm sure its nothing personal :)
Thomas went on his first ride on car (the ones that whizz round a track on the high street) the other day and i was surprised he sat still the whole time laughing his head of instead of trying to get out. i cant believe how much he has changed since Ellen was born it really is astounding.

Now as promised onto the Iggle Piggle stuff. as any mother of very young children will know there is a newish program on cbeebies called "In The Night Garden". (Iggle Piggle is the blue character on the left) Thomas is OBSESSED. Its the only program he will sit and watch for the entire episode rather than running round the room and being distracted all the time. Well now of course every shop has a display of toys, books etc and Thomas wants me to buy them for him. so far i have only bought one small stuffed toy, and ordered some bits for Xmas but it is getting hard not to buy him everything as its the first thing he has shown a real interest in. am i mad?
anyway that's it for now write soon!
night x

Looking Good

Well Afternoon all!
Things are finally underway at the O'Dwyer household, the boiler is being replaced as we speak and i have made a headway with the housework.
It has suddenly got easier this week, and i dont know whether its because i am being more relaxed about everything or that ellens just that little bit older now. either way im glad to have some sense of order to my home and children!
Ellen smiled this week for the first time, and at her godmother Aimee no less.
well thats all to report, will be back later with more pictures.

I'm a Preppy goddess who likes to strip!

take this test to find out what you are... lol
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coping with 2

goodness, now that's done i can do my first full post of exactly what its like to have 2 under 2.
it is chaos! that's the only way i can explain it. don't get me wrong i am well and truly enjoying having them both here, but it is hard work!
Ellen is five weeks old now and she is beginning to "wake" up a bit, and hopefully her feeding will settle soon then things will get easier.
Having Michael off work so much has really helped, he is back full time as of tomorrow, so the real test starts then i suppose.
Thomas has coped surprisingly well, he is getting a bit clingy but he seems to love her to pieces! which is a weight off my shoulders i must say. i mean i know its not in his nature but i was a little worried he would be jealous of the attention shes getting.
i am actually quite looking forward to having them to myself, as Michael and i have different ways of dealing with them, I'm the discipline and Michael just bribes them to get them to do what he wants! so its much easier when its only one person most of the time as it stops tom getting confused. not meant in a bad way at all, just that we are different.
well im off to feed Ellen as she had just started..

Night night x

Ellen has arrived!

finally got the pictures onto the laptop now, so heres a few...

Getting Back Online

well having moved it has taken a month for the internet to get back up and running so my posts are a little behind!
Little Baby Ellen is finally here!
she arrived 24th May at 10.42am, weighing 6lb 9oz, and sporting a FULL head of dark brown hair!
labour was ok, ended up with a forceps delivery though, which was a shame but at least she arrived safe and sound. managed to breast feed this time, with no problems getting started at all, unlike thomas who would not latch on at all. we have decided to switch to formula because she is such a hungry baby and is feeding every hour!
pictures to follow, as i cant find my blue tooth adaptor at the moment!

love to all

xxx

Thunderbirds are GO!

Oh my god there is so much to do still, and although we still dont have a set moving date, we are hoping for friday (25th) wont know till wednesday as estate agents are waiting on referance from bank and wont give us the keys till then. hopefully they will have it by wednesday as we wanted to pay the deposit so we could go and paint the flat before moving in on friday to give the paint fumes time to disapear before we bring tom (and hopefully ellen) into the house.
so we are currently packing, but not to much as we cant pack anything we may need in next week, it might not be till the following friday that we get to move.

Ellen is make NO signs of coming out any time soon, i think she is far to comfortable in there!
michael is off work this week to help me cope with tom im in alot of pain most of the time, my hips are playing me up again and making everyday things very difficult. (like 2 flights of stairs for instance)

oh and our internet is being cut off wednesday as we thought we were moving, so will only be able to update once a week from then on, (not that i post that often anyway) but michael has promised to put sum pictures up for u all to see once i have had ellen, so the first post will be by her daddy :)

well will post soon, hopefully wednesday to say we can move lol!

We have a house!

we have found a 2 bedroom house that is cheap enough!

its a tiny little thing that needs a loving hand, however there are no stairs and a garden!

it the white one in the middle on the picture, the large white building on right is not part of our house, however its much bigger inside then you would think!

as you can see from the picture the back garden is small, however there is a shed at the bottom for storage. behind the camera (the bit you cant see!) is paving with 2 steps up to the grass. the garden will need child proofing, but its a start, and going from a 1 bed 2nd storey flat to a house seems like a dream!

of course they have to check our referances, and it has drained our finances considerably (ie we have NO money we are using every penny!!) but it will be worth it. thomas will have his own room, and we will have our sitting room back yay!

all we need to do now is pack..

woo!

Bloody Braxton Hicks!

Well three weeks to go!
One thing about pregnancy that no one tells you.. braxton hicks contractions HURT! i have been plagued with the buggers for a few weeks now, and i tell you they are no fun. last time they were uncomfortable but they didn't hurt, however this pregnancy they are ten times worse. i thought i was going into labour early last night as they were coming regularly, but they went away and i haven't had any other signs since so i think it was a false alarm. i can understand why so many women go into the labour ward thinking they are in full blown labour to be told they were actually in "practise/false" labour. its very irritating, because we are supposed to get into the hospital quickly due to this GBS to make sure i get the antibiotics in time. how do i know if its not just more BH? all i can hope is my waters go at the beginning this time so we really know for certain.
toms been playing me up again this week, the tantrums are almost hourly now. i think its a lack of language he frustrated with me for not knowing what he wants first time. while i understand it it doesn't stop me getting impatient with him, then feeling bad for snapping at him!
packed his overnight bag for when i go into hospital last night, as Ive been told that having so many BH could be an indication of labour being just around the corner. which suits me fine, we are eager to meet her!

My Neighbors! they have spent all of last week AND the bank holiday weekend drilling and hammering into the wall that is immediately next to Thomas' cot. as a result he hasn't barely slept all week, which now i think of it is probably aggravating his grumpiness with me. he is sleeping at the moment and they have started up again, so i don't hold out much hope of him being able to complete his nap.

speak of the devil hes just woken! don't you love neighbours?

Write soon!

Pushchair blues

we collected our pushchair yesterday, and i must say i am disappointed with it. because it is second hand you can never be certain of what you are getting, but the back wheels were buckled so badly it dosnt steer round corners, plus with thomas in the front it is impossible to lift the front wheels off the ground making curbs (not to mention 2 flights of stairs to my flat) impossible.

so i have given up and bought the dreaded side-by-side. just a cheap one from argos because i like how easy returns are there, and its garenteed for 6 months (manufactors) and argos garenteed for a year.

just the crib left and we should be done, hurrah!

we did all the other bits monday, so we are set for her arrival now, and we have a few weeks to spare which im glad of, i get all flustered when everything is left to the last minute.

ive also been good with my hospital bag this time, picking a small holdal rather than a huge thing, as i know michael can bring anything i need from home (i didnt think of that last time). ive packed enough for 3 days just in case and i need to buy a book to read when i cant sleep at night, ive never been able to sleep in hospitals its just too noisey, but i havent brought a ton of stuff like i was staying a week lol!

All in all a most productive week!

Super Sleeper

Thomas has been sleeping alot over the last week, and i cant work out if its the heat or all the walking he is doing. but by alot i mean ALOT. He is napping every 2 hours at home, and still sleeping through. when we are out he seems to sleep less, but he is very grumpy because he is tired.
dont get me wrong this is great for me as im nearing the end of my pregnancy i am exhausted, so the regular lie downs are really helping me stay active.
however i would much rather be playing with him than spending the afternoon creeping round the house trying not to wake him.
his new trick this week is trying to go from sitting to standing without pulling himself up on anything. its quite funny to watch because he quite often falls sideways on the way up and looks rather shocked to be looking up at me from the floor! its suprising how fast he has worked out how to do it though, bless him.
the number of things we still have to get for Ellen is a little overwhelming at the moment, i made the fatal mistake of writing down everything she needs and couldnt believe how late we have left even the basics like a cot. we will have to get everything next monday with our last paycheck before she is due, luckly we have succeded in buying alot of stuff second hand or borrowing it, so we wont have to pay out too much i hope.
and of course the weather has suddenly got really hot and toms wardrobe had to be updated which is why we have very little money to speak of this month. he does look adorable in shorts through i must say, he has such skinny legs they just look swamped in everything!
well thats it at the moment, post soon!
nat x

Birthday Boy

Tom birthday celebrations went very well.

we spent his birthday shopping in Croydon for presents, then we went to my mums for birthday cake and a visit from his great nan (my nan).

We decided to buy him a bike for his birthday in the end, and although his legs are too small to reach the pedals it has a long handle to push him along on it so he absolutely loves it.

we took a trip down the park with him on his birthday to distract him while my mum sorted dinner out, and he was amazed by the butterflies and other insects out flying around his head. it was really nice to have a whole afternoon together as a family, and i think i enjoyed the day as much as Thomas did.

The next day (Friday) we took him and his friends to the cinema to celebrate his turning one, we went to see Mr Bean which was a relatively child friendly film. apart from getting a bit grizzly at the end because it was getting close to nap time Thomas was very well behaved, and seemed to enjoy the film.

Once the film had ended we went to Trafalgar square to watch the

fountains and to give the babies somewhere relatively safe to run off some steam.

we threw pennies in the fountain and went up and down the stairs for a few hours until we were hungry enough to go and get some dinner.

picking Michael up on the way we had pizza hut (we Thomas had a jar and some crusts!) and tried to relax after an exhausting day.

I'm glad i didn't arrange anything big for Thomas' birthday because just doing what we did was stressful and hectic, however Thomas enjoyed the day and we did mark the occasion for him!

Mummy Meltdown

I am not perfect, i am well aware of this, but it doesnt stop me from feeling incredibly guilty when i have a bad day with tom.
thomas was grouchy when he woke up this morning, and although we had a breif recovery in the middle of the day, he returned to whinging and crying in the evening.
this left me feeling frazzled and short tempered and with the sudden bout of extremly warm weather adding to my rather short fuse, tom got shouted at a few times.
he also tipped a whole cup of juice on himself when i hadnt brought out any spare clothing so he spent the afternoon in a babygrow that was in the bottom of the changing bag, however i couldnt do anything about his wet vest. add to this the fact he now couldnt get out of the pram and walk as he had drenched his shoes and you have one extremly miserable and whingy baby.
its when i have days like this that i wonder if i will be able to cope when ellen is eventually born, because if they are BOTH having a grouchy day at the same time i can see a mummy meltdown happening.
all i can do i suppose is take a deep breathe, vow not to snap so much, and try not to beat myself up for not being a perfect mother.
we should really be making an effort to pack now that we know the move is happening, we got out eviction notice which gives us 2 months to hassle the council and pack up all our belongings. oh and of course have a baby in the middle of the chaos!
its toms first birthday is next thursday. i cant believe this time last year we were childless and waiting for his arrival, and this year we are homeless and waiting for ellen!!
well thats all for now
speak soon
night xx

stock replenishing supervisor

my tom is so funny sometimes, i just have to tell you what he was doing today.
we were in next and somebody had taken alot of the baby shoes off the racks and tried them on, but had left them all over the seats instead of putting them back.
Tom saw them and started tidying the shoes up, hanging them back on the rack and saying "uh oh" every time he turned round and saw the mess. it was really funny cos i say the same thing when he tips boxes of toys out on the floor, so he was making the connection to there being a mess and me saying "uh oh"
He has been doing this alot lately, copying things i do and say, like hoovering the floor and tutting when he drops something. however I'm not impressed with the bad language he is picking up from us, even though its not directed at him and often said in another room he is still picking it up and making noises that certainly sound the same when he is angry with me. so we are quickly learning that he is no longer to young to be influenced by what we say and do, and will be watching our behaviour whether it be saying thank you more often, or saying certain words less often!

On his feet and a year old in 2 weeks

i have just realised that thomas' birthday is just over 2 weeks away. i cannot believe that my baby is going to be a whole year old already!

been cramming in quite alot in the last few weeks, as there was alot we wanted to do with him before his first birthday, like feeding the ducks, and have just realised we are running out of time. its important that we have done these things before Ellen is born i think, because i want to have a photo album full of things he did with mummy without his sister being in every picture!That picture is one we took when we were at the London baby show the other week, which is one of the things i wanted to do last year but couldnt as i was working. persil had a great big pit full of those white balls, they looked quite like soap bubbles and i thought he looked really cute in them!

i have been feeling guilty this week as we have spent a huge chunk of our spare cash on the double pushchair instead of spending it on toms fist birthday. not that we had any choice, the pram needs lots of time to get here so we can make totally sure it is delivered before Ellen is!

i know he wont remember it so I'm not going to spend alot although i kinda feel like I'm SUPPOSED to, but i think its more important to have his family and friends around then to have lots of presents. And if that makes me a penny pincher i don't care!

His walking is also amazing. we bought him his first hard soled shoe yesterday, which means he can now go outside and walk around the shopping center with us, without me worrying about him treading on glass or something. he has enjoyed today immensely as a result, behaving better than normal on a shopping trip. true he was grabbing at everything and pulling clothes on his head in George, but to see that sparkle in his eyes just because he is allowed to choose where he goes is well worth it. i am fully prepared for this eagerness to disappear, especially once there is another baby sitting in the pram, but at the moment i am revelling in the fun that can be had from about a foot off the ground!

Trying to get a decent picture of it on the other hand is another matter. i have been trying for days to get a picture of toms first steps, but he moves to fast i just cant get him in focus and they are all coming out blurred. promise to try harder, and also i need to get some of Thomas swimming, as he is just so funny in the pool!

right I'm off to bed before i fall asleep on the keyboard, my apologies that this post is a bit all over the place, I'm just SO tired today and have so much buzzing around in my head its hard to put it down coherently.

night xx

feeding the ducks with daddy

we took tom to feed the ducks in Crystal Palace the other day, and he was throwing the bread in himself! i was most impressed, although he seemed to be having more fun throwing the bread than watching the ducks.

i have entered this post to test my mobile blogging, and it seems to have worked. this means that when Ellen is born i can text my pictures directly to the Internet so that you can all see her straight away! of course any pictures of me will look awful, but what can you do!?

well i haven't entered a post for ages on here, and i have to get ready to take tom to toddler group so it looks like I'm not going to be able to update things very much today. however i am going to a mums meet up in Bromley so i hope to post later with all the details!

speak soon

Purple, Purple Everywhere

I have spent today dying all of toms blue babygrows purple! been having great fun, and will be doing some more tomorrow. i have just found a load of white ones that i might dye pink, to disguise any small stains on a few of them, and there is a snowsuit I'm dying to get my hands on!
at the moment Ive just been straight dying them purple, but now i might try tie dying some funky colors lol! will put some pictures on if successful, i was quite surprised how cheap it actually is to customise them, the plain ones i have various bits and pieces to sew on and make them unique. its sad i know but I'm actually really excited today especially as I'm drawing nearer to the 30 week mark and i know shes nearing the "safe" zone.
sorting out all of toms stuff has been so much fun today, i had no idea how much unisex stuff he actually had, alot of it can go straight in the draws ready for her. i really cant believe how tiny Thomas once was and even though some of it isn't salvageable and will have to go down charity shop (football babygrows, navy stuff) i feel more ready to give it away now, before i was holding on to it for dear life!
another thing that has shocked me this week is that Thomas' birthday is only 5 weeks away. my baby will be a year old already! what with the increase in his walking, the few words he has picked up (nan, cat, grandad, etc) he looks so much more like a big boy. the funny thing is that although i love each change and new thing he learns, i almost grieve for each little bit of "baby" he loses.
parenthood is a funny thing :)

I'm so MAD!

Thomas was really ill in the new year, he had violent and repeated vomiting and diarrhoea for nearly 2 weeks starting on new years eve.

when i took him to the doctors after the first 48 hours showed no signs of improvement, and was told that it was probably just something he had eaten, and he was fine.

so i took him home, embarrassed at being an "over reacting" first time mum. however things did not improve and he developed signs of dehydration so i took him back and was prescribed oral rehydration sachets and calpol. he did get better, but it took nearly 2 weeks to recover and be able to hold anything down. the doctor was adamant each time i returned (every 2-3 days) that it was just a bug and not to worry.

until today i have just accepted it was a nasty bug. until i found this http://www.rotavirus.org.uk/downloads/Parent%20Information%20Leaflet.pdf

now it seems the "bug" that Thomas had was a form of Gastroenteritis called "rotavirus".

what is rotavirus?Rotavirus is a virus that infects the bowels. It is the most common cause of severe diarrhea among children. It results in the hospitalization of approximately 55,000 children each year in the United States and the death of over 600,000 children worldwide each year. A rotavirus has a characteristic wheel-like appearance when viewed by electron microscopy (the name rotavirus is derived from the Latin rota, meaning "wheel").
What are the symptoms of rotavirus?The time period from initial infection to symptoms (incubation period) for rotavirus disease is around 2 days. Symptoms of the disease include vomiting and watery diarrhea for 3 to 8 days. Fever and abdominal pain also occur frequently. Immunity from repeated infection is incomplete after a rotavirus infection, but repeated infections tend to be less severe than the original infection.
How is rotavirus transmitted?The primary mode of transmission of rotavirus is the passage of the virus in stool to the mouth of another child. There also have been cases of low levels of rotavirus in respiratory tract secretions and other body fluids. Because the virus is stable (remains infective)in the environment, transmission can occur through ingestion of contaminated water or food and contact with contaminated surfaces.
In the United States and other countries with a temperate climate, rotavirus infection has a winter seasonal pattern, with annual epidemics occurring from November to April. The highest rates of illness occur among infants and young children. Most children in the United States have been infected by 2 years of age. Adults also can be infected, although the resulting illness tends to be mild.
How is the diagnosis of rotavirus made?The diagnosis may be made by rapid detection of rotavirus in stool specimens. Strains of rotavirus may be further characterized by enzyme immunoassay or polymerase chain reaction, but such testing is not commonly available or necessary.
How is the disease treated?There is no specific treatment for rotavirus. For persons with healthy immune systems, rotavirus infection of the bowel (gastroenteritis) is a self-limited illness, lasting for only a few days. The treatment consists of increased fluid intake to prevent dehydration. About one in 40 children with rotavirus infection of the bowel requires hospitalization for intravenous fluid.

although this still has the same treatment, it explains why we weren't getting sick (despite being vomited and pooed on for 2 weeks) as adults tend to be immune to it once they have had it as children.

I am furious that this wasn't picked up when we repeatedly took him in with all the symptoms listed and i kept saying to the doctor "but if its a bug why is no one else sick who's been in contact with him? why arnt i ill too?"

even though it would have made no difference to the treatment, to be told that this is what it is and that we were doing everything we could, really would have helped. as it was i spent 2 weeks convinced there must be something else wrong as no one else was sick, worrying myself stupid.

so i have done this post to hopefully raise awareness as this condition (although widely recognised and even VACCINATED against in the USA) has only recently been recognised in this country.

here are some helpful websites:

http://www.rotavirusinfo.com/

http://www.rotavirus.org.uk/

http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/1181

rant over.. for now!

Water Baby

Tom has a new bath toy which i bought for him yesterday, a great big blue slide thing that attaches to the sides of the bath. he has been having great fun putting anything and everything down it, but as of yet has not got the hang of putting water in it yet. therefore they tend to get stuck halfway down the slide, resulting in grunts of annoyance!

Also took him swimming on Friday, that was quite funny as he clamped his arms round my neck and would not let me put him down the whole time. strangely enough i took him when he 4 months old and he loved it. there was a really nice woman who let us use her inflatable baby seat thing, (you know the ones the rubber rings with a seat in the middle that u put small babies in) and he seemed relatively calm in that. me and the girls have all decided to go once a fortnight as tom wasn't the only baby seemingly terrified of the water, to get them used to it and as a form of exercise for us. luckily one of us has a little girl who is 2 so she had her hands free most of the time to help everyone else, this will of course be invaluable when Ellen arrives! i hope to break toms phobia of water soon because the thought of holding 2 babies and trying to stay afloat is not terribly appealing!

Tom had his dietitian appointment yesterday, the woman said it was obvious i new what i was doing, and that as long as i was happy with his weight gain and diet she was happy to discharge him. which of course i was brimming with pride about lol! he weighs just 19lb 6oz, but that puts him on the 25th percentile almost which is good enough for me as he has followed that line fairly consistently so i know he is gaining the right amounts.

went bra shopping yesterday too, hurrah! Marks and Spencer finally have maternity bras that don't look like something your nan would wear! its amazing that a good bra makes all the difference, my boobs didn't ache like they had been and they were up on my chest instead of resting on Ellen's head! they were pricey for what i would usually pay for a bra, but i didn't have alot of choice.
well that's it for now speak again soon!

My Super Sister

Laura got the call back for the Brit school workshops today. basically she is one step closer to getting into the secondary school she wishes to attend. I'm very impressed, not being very musical or particularly talented at drama i have always admired how easy it seems to come to Laura. not that I'm saying it is easy, just that she sings and acts like she was born to do it.
i am very proud of her, and am thinking of her in my prayers that she gets through the next lot just as easily. And why wouldn't she? they'd be stupid not to take her, when shes rich and famous they'll be kicking themselves. right well now I've finished blowing her trumpet I'm off again.. just wanted to share the news!

night xx

Tom

Testing phone blogging

...and Bingo was his name-o!

Michael mum gave us a toy of Jacques that is kind of a cot toy/baby walker thing. Its a dog that clips onto the cot for the first 10 months, and then you can fold it out so that its a walk-along type toy. It sings "Bingo" and lights up when you press its collar, hence the title! well anyway Thomas uses it to zip up and down the living room, which I've had to move the furniture around so that he can get the full length of!
the first time he really got the hang of it was at my parents house, i think because they have carpet, and we spent most of the evening standing at either end of the room catching him as he went flying into various pieces of furniture in his excitement! its amazing how fast he is growing up, it seemed like just yesterday that i was amazed he could smile and roll over! I'm really looking forward to doing it all over again with Ellen, and seeing how much difference there really is between the way boys and girls learn things.
sometimes i do wish Thomas wasn't quite as smart as he is, finding new places to hide things that are dangerous or unsuitable for him to play with is proving difficult. this week he discovered that if he stands on small things he can reach taller things, and with the inch hes grown in height over the last few weeks I'm finding that certain tables, windows sills and shelves are no longer out of his grasp. I've taken to hiding things upstairs or onto of the kitchen cupboards.. which of course is making my life harder the bigger i get as the stairs are killing me, and reaching up hurts my back.
on a brighter note my hips have stopped hurting so much, which has coincided with the spell of warmer weather we are having. so I'm hoping that the closer we get to the summer the less pain and discomfort I will be in. now that we have passed the major milestones (12 weeks, nucal scan, 23 week scan, first kick etc) the time is starting to drag. having Christmas, the wedding and several family birthdays probably helped keep me busy and stopped me thinking about how much time is left. there is only 14 weeks left to go i know, I'm just really looking forward to meeting my little girl!
Due to this dry spell of things to do i have started getting the house organised, and making my infamous lists of things to do and get for the upcoming birth. there is still a fair amount of things to do, but we have enough time so I'm trying not to worry!

New Pictures (Gallery Post)

here is a small collection of photos taken in the last few months to show how much tom has changed...

Two Teeth and Two Steps in one day

We have discovered the cause of the nappy rash and grumpyness.

Tom has another 2 teeth cutting. that makes a total of four teeth all cutting at once, two at the top and two at the bottom. they are taking their sweet time too, only part of the way through and hurting him so much its waking him in the night bless him. as soon as they are visible enough i will post a picture, he looks so cute at the moment.
today we also had 2 whole steps! i was sitting in the middle of the room and tom casually stepped out towards me. shocked the hell out of me i can tell you!
Micheal is obviously miffed he missed it, but as i pointed out tom wont do it again for me, so was prob just a fluke. (that doesnt stop me from trying to get him to do it over and over again hee hee)
going to my mums tomorrow, dad has offered to give me a lift as my hips just arnt up to the public transport (just one more wonderful pregnancy side effect) its lauras birthday so will be singing to her if shes not careful! glad to get out of the house to be honest, frustrating being stuck in due to lack of money and sore hips!

well im off to bed, night night x

The ball is round, watch it roll!!

hello to all.

been a few days i know, been feeling rather under the weather. doc says its due to my anaemia which i should have been taking iron tablets for but haven't (naughty girl!)
been napping during the day, and crashing out on public transport, but only 3 tablets into the pack of iron i have really noticed a difference. So hopefully i will be right as rain in a few days, and am house bound till Tuesday to recover.

tom crashed out at 4.30 this evening and still hasn't woken up which means i am prob going to up with him all night now, but his teeth are giving him so much jip i just don't have the heart to wake him now he seems comfortable.

he woke at 6.30, played for an hour had a bath and some milk and has settled down again (with some encouragement)
seems to have developed a cough, i think he might be coming down with something, which would explain the sleepiness. poor mite, hes not had a cough before and seems quite shocked each time it starts. it would be funny if he didn't look so pitiful.

yesterday tom worked out how to get the plastic balls in his funfair toy (a slide and mini Ferris wheel that has balls with faces that go in the wheel cradles and down the slide) to go in the top and down the slide. it was so entertaining to watch as he would clap his hands each time it went down the slide and out the bottom. today however he worked out that if he put the ball halfway down the slide instead of the top it came out the bottom much quicker. the first time he did it he was so surprised to get the same end result from two (seemingly) different events that he just sat there and looked at the ball for ages. then he spent 2 hours, yes 2 HOURS, putting it first in the top then halfway down, then back to the top. its was fascinating to watch how impressed he was with the slide, when he hasn't shown alot of interest in it before now despite several attempts from me and Michael to show him what it does. He also had fun putting two balls down one after the other and catching the first one before the second one caught his fingers at the bottom. this frustrated him as he kept dropping one to catch the other and vice versa. so back to the game of top and bottom. LMAO!

On another topic we have had our referral letter for the dietitian, which is good as he keeps getting bouts of diareeah and we cant work out which foods it is setting him off. funnily enough Michael is also being referred due to suspected IBS. to be honest i don't mind what foods they cant eat, it would just be nice to know which ones to avoid, especially as poor tom has terrible nappy rash at the moment, which I'm please to say that a switch in nappy type is actually helping (when i didn't think it would) seems a better fitting nappy is helping keep the moisture away from his skin. that's one thing i love about knowing other mums, the suggestions that you never thought would work sometimes actually do!

right well this has been a dreadfully long entry, however i hope i haven't bored you rigid!

night night xx

The Big Switch..

"Whats in a name?"

well a lot it seems. its funny i never really thought about it but there is so much involved in changing your name. I've got to change my bank account, email, passport, drivers license. and on top of that there's the council housing list, housing benefit list, water, gas, electricity, council tax, telephone line. I'm not sure that that's all of them yet! however i am getting there, the tricky thing is getting them all done at the right time. for instance cheques issued by housing benefit need to be in the right name at the same time as the bank has been changed, and that's proving hard because the bank want the original marriage certificate sent to them before they will change it, and so do housing benefit... lol.

incidentally my email from the 24th of Feb will be natalie.odwyer@hotmail.co.uk.

starting to gear up for the impending birth of our little girl, saving to buy the pushchair, going through which clothes of toms are saveable and unisex enough, whilst selling the rest.
Am looking forward to Ellen's arrival, i know its going to be hard work, but if others can do it so can i. tom however is showing absolutely no interest in walking at the moment, or even standing alone, so we have decided we really are going to have to get a double pushchair, because even of he is walking a little, he wont be up to walking any sort of long distance.

time will tell i suppose.

id better get of here because Ellen is protesting to having a laptop rested on her head (bad mummy) and is kicking me mercilessly...

night night xx

I'm a married woman now!

Well its all over! the day went reasonably well, there were a few last minute emergencies but nothing went hugely wrong.

The day started off fairly well, sue did my hair and then headed off with mum to the reception to organise the food. i did my makeup, nails and got dressed, and we were running pretty much on time when we left the house. but the traffic was terrible! it took us half an hour to get to the registry office instead of the ten minutes it should have done. then it took ages for dad to get parked. they nearly cancelled the whole wedding! however dad rounded the corner just in time to give me away, and the ceremony was beautiful.

mum came down with a virus the day before the wedding, and couldn't help sue with the food, so sue was left to make a buffet for 50 people on her own! but she managed it and the spread was pretty amazing, i must say i was impressed! here's a picture to show you just how much there was there. prawn rings, sandwiches, sausages and sausage rolls, cheese and pineapple on sticks, boiled eggs, gosh you name it she made it! everyone commented on how good the food looked and tasted, and i ate quite a bit of it myself!

everyone got on well, and we all went home fairly early as we were knackered!

more pictures will follow, however i only have a few taken with my mobile phone at the minute, my relatives haves promised to email others that they took with their cameras and i believe there is a video floating around somewhere.

im off to bed just thought i would update you all on the goings on, im too tired to write a very long post.

night night xx

Night before the Night before...

well its the wedding the day after tomorrow, and things here are a little hectic... however good news is that my dress came up wonderfully and i will now look like a frilly blamonge... yay!
i cant wait to get married, its going to be nice to say "my husband" instead of my partner. cleaned the wedding bands up and they look good as new, still need to take in Thomas' waistcoat cos he's so darned skinny, but i am just looking forward to the day now.
will be posting some photos hopefully Sunday, but depends on how well the ones on Michael's phone will come out as my dad will have the proper pictures as its his digital camera, so we wont have them straight away.

thats it for now just a quickie my back is killing me so need to go lie down..

nightie night! x x

Powercut, perfect!

Well I have just spent the last hour in darkness with a semi naked tom (as he decided to throw up everywhere just as the power went) waiting for the power to come back on after our second power cut in the last 6 months. typical that I had just posted the last post, was running a bath for tom, and clearing up a pile of puke when suddenly it went dark.
finding our candles was a complete farce, and I was holding Thomas with no clothes on just praying he wouldn't decided to take a leak all over the front of me. but we got there, and I finished cleaning up tom (and his puke) then went to investigate.

isn't it funny when they tell you there is a power cut however you seem to be the only house on the street that you can see without lights? grrrr...

Anyway went to buy dinner and when i got back the power went on, so that was good timing. rant over.

on a brighter note Ellen has decided to bully my bladder mercilessly since tom went down to sleep, this is perhaps a sign of things to come? not even born and shes making her presence known. "don't forget about me!"

I went through my pictures on the PC just now and discovered the most recent picture of me and tom is like 8 months old! so have posted that one for now, but here is a more recent one of just tom!

I have vowed to get some pictures sorted out over Michael's holiday, did i tell you Michael is off work for 2 weeks now? tonight is his last night, and even though we arnt having a honey moon per say i still have him home with me for 14 glorious days. its sad but I am really looking forward to catching up on the cleaning, and selling some more of Thomas' baby stuff on eBay!
I tell you what I could spend all day long looking through catalogues of baby stuff! its so nice that I get to buy all the girly stuff I wanted to last time, I'm so lucky to be expecting a little girl.
I will also make sure I get round to scanning in a picture of Ellen, we have our 23 week scan on Wednesday

. my sister Laura is excited about coming, shes never seen one of my scans before as the last hospital wouldn't allow other children in the ultrasound room when I was pregnant with tom.

oh and its Michael's 22nd on Tuesday too! so we have quite alot on this week, will do my best to keep up with everything on here, I expect you will get a post tomorrow, but that may well be it until next Sunday.

well nighty night!